Sometimes, when you’re stuck and your journey consists of wheels stuck in the mud of the wilderness, the best thing to do can be to chuck it all.
I dont mean give up and let life roll over you like a slug crawling over a salt slick while trying to outrun a caffeine-crazed chimp driving a steam roller. I mean give up the worry for a bit.
As as long as you’re not letting loose of anything pressing, like forgetting a partner’s birthday, maybe take your hand off the wheel, take your foot off the gas and pull over to the side of your path for a while.
For the the past three years, my life has revolves around a single imperative: Become a better man.
I’ve worked darn hard at getting closer to that goal. Closer because I don’t want to ever feel as if I’ve accomplished everything I want to accomplish.
Though, at times, I’ve struggled with feelings of futility when it seems as if there’s no way forward, as if the only way to go is backward to who I was. Or simply to abandon cutting a new path and sit still, waiting to be overgrown.
I didnt know what to do. I didn’t know where to go. I thought and thought, obsessed on a way to break the stalemate, and still found myself frustrated and stuck.
I talked to my my therapist about it and she said it sounded like trying to remember something. What you’re trying to remember is right on the top of your brain and you can’t get it out to your tongue. In such a situation, there’s a standard piece of advice. Stop worrying about it. Stop trying to remember the item.
When end your brain relaxes and begins focusing on other things, the answer will just pop up.
It it actually worked for me. The answer is been looking for, the possible path forward, was right there. Only I hadn’t been able to see it.
Im in a similar situation right now. Though I’m trying to face someone in my life without bitterness or resentment, those feelings keep popping back up. I don’t know what to do to deal with my issue. I wracked my brain, read books, talked to my therapist and still didn’t know what to do.
I still dont.
And thats okay. I’ve decided to give myself a mental break. Perfect timing.
I’m currently in Central America helping a corps of dedicated medical professionals bring the joy of walking to some poor folk here unable to afford the treatment they need.
I’m going to be present for these patients who need our help. I’m going to help them, something that always makes me feel good. And I’m not going to think about my own situation.
When end I get home. . . Who knows? I might have the answer. I might not. And either outcome is okay.
I’ll have helped people no one else could have helped. I will have done good. I can’t think of a more worthy definition of better man than that.
Forced from monogamy after 25 years of marriage, he found he rather liked the change. While he could have done without the complete mental-emotional breakdown, it did allow him to rebuild himself with the aim of becoming a better man.